Music weaves through every moment of my day-from the first light of dawn to the quiet of night. Sometimes I meticulously select each track, while other times I surrender to the randomness of shuffle, letting the songs guide my emotions. One morning, as the playlist played freely, Olivia Rodrigo’s Déjà vu surfaced. Though I had listened countless times before, that day I found myself whispering, “She deserves closure.”
This song holds a special place in my heart. Its haunting melody and raw emotion make it unforgettable. Yet, beneath its beauty lies a tale of heartbreak, steeped in bittersweet memories. Olivia’s lyrics paint a picture of shared moments now mirrored in her ex’s new relationship: “So when you gonna tell her that we did that too? She thinks it’s special, but it’s all reused…”
Her words resonated deeply because I’ve walked that path-and perhaps you have, too.
The Sting of Familiarity
Ending a relationship is never easy, especially when it happens unexpectedly, leaving you unprepared. What intensifies the pain is witnessing your former partner recreate the intimate rituals you once shared with someone else. The favorite café, the TV shows you binge-watched together, the songs that felt uniquely yours-all suddenly feel recycled, as if your story has been copied and pasted.
That’s why songs like Déjà vu cut so deeply. They remind us that closure isn’t merely about parting ways with a person; it’s about releasing the version of yourself that existed within that relationship.
The Illusion of Closure
Often, when I craved closure, what I truly sought was a second chance. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye; I was hoping for a fresh start. Closure can be deceptive-it’s not always the neat ending we imagine.
One crucial lesson I’ve learned is that silence can be closure. When someone disappears without explanation or chooses not to communicate, their silence speaks volumes. Moving on isn’t about showcasing your happiness to the world or proving you’ve “won” the breakup. True joy comes from within, not from external validation. With time, the constant thoughts of them will fade, and you’ll find yourself going entire days without their presence in your mind. That’s genuine healing.
Embracing Your Healing Journey
Recovering from heartbreak is rarely straightforward and varies for everyone. While some find solace in cutting off all contact, that wasn’t my path, so I won’t suggest it as a universal remedy. Instead, here are some practices that nurtured my recovery:
- Give yourself permission to mourn. Let the tears fall, write down your feelings, and fully experience the loss.
- Engage in small acts of self-kindness: prepare a favorite dish, take yourself out for a solo adventure, or treat yourself to fresh flowers.
- Practice self-forgiveness. It’s easy to replay moments and blame yourself, but remember, relationships unravel due to many factors, not just one misstep.
Above all, be patient. Healing is a gradual process, not a race to the finish line.
Looking Beyond the Past
With over seven billion people on this planet, countless hearts remain to be discovered. This thought alone can be liberating. Instead of clinging to what once was, try to appreciate those experiences with gratitude-they shaped you and held meaning. Now, it’s time to turn the page and write new chapters.
I relate to Olivia’s sense of déjà vu, but I also want to remind you-yes, you reading this-that you are the protagonist of your own life. You deserve a love that feels authentic, fulfilling, and like coming home.
When that love arrives, it won’t echo the past; it will be a fresh, exhilarating beginning.
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